A Radicalized Mouse

Nobody pays attention to mice or rats until they’ve gotta deal with one. Well today I had to deal with one, and it’s got me all shook up. We’ve been hearing some scampering in the walls, so we bought the cheapest mouse traps we could find and laid them around the house. I wake up this morning and we’ve got the bugger…BY THE TAIL. This thing is thrashing around, furious at what we’ve done.

The biggest problem I saw is that if I tried to get near it, this mouse/rat starts going crazy again. A very fair reaction I guess when you think about it from his point of view. The monster that laid out this horrible torture device is walking near me? Time to thrash about. This is when I realized the mouse/rat had become radicalized.

So now I have a rodent hanging by its tail to a mousetrap that wants my head on a stake. He hates me and everything that I stand for. We can’t both survive under this roof. Maybe I’m being a jerk, but shoot, I’m tellin’ it like it is. He’s got to go until we can figure out what’s going on with this entire species. For too long they’ve been sneaking around our homes, stealing our food, who knows what their plan is. They’re in your daughter’s room, maybe she thinks it’s a cute pet, maybe they’re tricking her into a false sense of security before killing her. We all remember the black plague. Started by bad, sneaky creatures just like this.

Hey, maybe every once in a while there’s a good mouse, but our sewers are full of scary rats turning our nice turtles into radioactive ninjas. Am I afraid? Damn right I am. So I have two options. I can continue on my current path of fear and hatred for this, or I can try to understand my actions and the actions of the mouse. I can take a hard look at society and try to see the root causes of our fear. But dangnabbit that’s hippie talk and I won’t stand for it in my home. I’m not about to start taking a step back to try and recognize that almost all of my hatred for this animal is based in fear and lack of knowledge towards the plight of vermin throughout time. I’m not gonna waste another second grappling with myself trying to see if I fear this mouse because of its actions, all mice in general, or just hate anything that doesn’t look and act like me. Screw that, it’s a rat!

So yeah I threw it in the woods with a shovel. Homie don’t play that shit.

 

I’m not gonna miss an opportunity to put this in here: when does a mouse become a rat and when is a rat a mouse? Scary Movie Rat/Mouse Paradox

seinfeld infestation

 

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