Wanna see what the future of rockets could maybe look like? Sure you do


That Star Wars looking cone right there is called an aerospike, and yes it’s as cool as it looks. The camera is literally shaking from the force of this engine just starting. These are best at pretty low elevation and aren’t really that feasible yet because of how much cooling is needed, but I’m not thinking about using these for flying. Now bare with me here, but I’m thinking dolphins.

For years, the U.S. military has been aware of how intelligent dolphins are and have tried to find a way to adapt them to being more or less a military tool. Well look no further friend, we’ve found the solution. Strap an Aerospike rocket to the top of a dolphin and next thing you know you’re blowing holes in the sides of Iranian warships (or whoever the hell we’re pissed at this week) and swimming away untraced as the rocket cools itself under water. The porpoise platoon is all we’ve ever needed. And now it’s all we’ll ever need.

Dolphins will bring peace to the Middle East, finally take down ISIS, stuff Putin in a locker, and make North Korea stop firing their fake nukes. Sharks will finally be put in their rightful place and stop attacking Mick Fanning. Or this all could backfire and when the Aerospike goes off it could cause the dolphin to be violently thrust backwards and die. Porpoise Platoon. For God and Country.


If you want to read more about Aerospike’s, here’s a NASA page with a lot of really long and scary words: http://www.hq.nasa.gov/pao/History/x-33/aero_faq.htm



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